Society's Beloved Children

I was eating the ice cream, when my mom kicked my hand and it fell.

I start crying.

I was enjoying the swing with my friend, when my dad shoved me too hard and I flew to the ground.

I start crying.

I was trying to imagine a story, when my mom shouted at me to stop and be realistic.

I start crying.

I was eating with my hands, when my dad threw the spoon into my face, "manners".

I start crying.

I was going to doubt, when my mom called me a blasphemer, and slapped me on the face.

I start crying.

I was going to tell my truth, when my dad called me a liar, and slapped me on the face.

I start crying.

I was going to cry, when they both shouted at me to grow up and dry my tears.

I start crying.

The years passed, and I learned my lessons. However, one day, some ghost felt sorry for me, and came to my parent's dream at night. "Why?" it just asked, "Why?" it asked again. They both answered confidently. "It is a harsh world out there, he has to be prepared, no place for dreamy boys in this world, he needs to know how to get the bread!" The Ghost was saddened by the reply and helpless, it went away.

I am a man now, dressing good, manners the way they should be. Not creative, just the way I was taught. I am prepared for this tough world. Years pass… I succeed… as a child inside me starts crying.

Desirable Sin

Her lips were red and tempting,
the color of the forbidden desirable apple.
I did not eat from it though,
and thus I stayed in heaven,
blessed by my "righteous" act.
All I wanted is a bite of that apple,
and may I be then taken down to earth,
together surrounded by sin.

Sleeping Beauty

Your smooth bare skin perfumed with your inviting scent

Your silky hair lying quietly on the pillow

Your closed resting eyes hiding who you truly are

Imagination goes strong where there is no action

And where is imagination the expectations can be fulfilled

But an unphysical form cannot satisfy the physical

My shadow merges with your image

I can wake you up, but then again no

You are a sleeping beauty

Your closed eyes fulfill my expectations 

Stop It

me saw a monster
but they laughed and said monsters don't exist
so me made a good trap
but monster no come
so I wait
At night I hear him mock
but nothing under bed
me wait a bit more
but he only vanishes and then laughes more
me a joke, me is confused
teddy bear, mine protector of the dark
mine memory of mother's warm arms
what a soothing song you trance me in
but this is only my room, outside world is different, mama?
I'm cold ...
In mirror I look, I see me .
Monster? My mind is the monster !

You are the monster !

Mama, I am cold ...

Dear Kin

To my kin

Who are you?

Are you my family?

Are you my friends?

Are you the people that speak my mother tongue?

Are you everybody?

Where are you to whom I belong?

Been trying to track your footprints,

but it is like you were walking on water!

I see you all, so clearly,

a faceless crowed!

I sing to you, you know,

sometimes I feel that you hear me,

but my feelings deceive me so well!

Your arms are unphysical illusion

which fades in the sun!

How can I fight for your cause?!

How can I dream your dreams?!

When the only times I see you are in my own dreams!

You step on water, my kin!

Step on mud!

For you!

For me!

Infinite Dust

Forget of what truth you’ve been told

That there is no fantasy

Oh no, this is a different world

Flames decorate the opening of the cave as I enter.

The sibylline, hooded, with back to me, groans

I’ve come to learn of time and its surprises

She groans again

Moments pass, then minutes, then hours

Speak to me!

She groans again

I get furious, timeless is unbearable

I come closer… I hold her fragile body and shake it

A colorful flower withers and turns to dust

I turn the sibylline around

And let go

Her eyes!

I retreat with fear

They show what no one wants to see!

Her eyes!

They are

Empty!

*       *       *

(in a world long forgotten)
two kids, hand in hand run and laugh
as they flock between the colorful flowers
until their mom shouts for them to come back home

My Sweet Sweet Life of Mine

Lamp on my right

Books on my left

Study material in front of me.

Mind is heavy,

carrying the weight of many new lines and information.

I stare on nothing,

when suddenly I notice something weird going on…

The lamp changes form,

melting into a barmaid as beautiful

as the girl of my dreams,

she goes to the words which turn into beer, sushi

and more and more beer of every kind that I just love!

I get up, and clap my hands with delight,
the music starts

Why, thank you love.

I tell her as she places the goodies in front of me with a wink,

I slap her on the butt, which she grins for.

Haha, and people claim studying is hard!

I ride the ride of my life with the priceless,

until enough time is wasted.

I look around me…

Lamp on my right

Books on my left

Study material in front of me,

  But this time… I smile  

Phantoms of the Unsacred World

It was my own idea…

My own desire…

They tie the cloth around my hands and legs… hard!

I lie on the mattress helpless.

They look at me and smile,

My veins spread, a shiver of nervousness flaws through my body,

My eyes bolt for a moment with fear!

What am I doing?!

They smile at me again, exposing the needle.

(Sound of Thunder, accompanied by howls!)

Too late for regrets! (Thunder!)

Faceless they are now! The needle slips in and spreads!

FEAR INFECTS EVERY CREATURE HEARING THE RAORS!!

Slowly my eyelids slide open, I’m back to consciousness!

My hands and legs are still tied firmly, humans around me…

I smile, and they pull back!

The sounds remain the same, smells, features, and all as well!

But I now perceive them differently!

I laugh!

(Sound of Thunder!)

I roar and forcefully get myself out of my prison!

“MONSTER!” they shout and run.

I laugh!

And you believed humans have a sacred soul!

(Laughter and screams!)

Fucking Gum

For a long time its been,

Words are not working to my own benefit.

(people outside are shouting, religious people, crazy!)

(Well, this changes the course of my poem now!)

Meaningless stars people point to at night,

And I try to see what they see.

But can I? When it’s not my favorite lie?

Oh, agreed, I’m not doing my work properly!

Not even close to that! Wasting good time!

Yet, does it matter?!

Haha, not to me, that’s for sure!

(What the hell am I listening to in my speakers?!)

(Wait, I’m thirsty)

In times of lost, in times of doubt

A partner is all you have for a shield.

When night falls

Sometimes you do too

That’s when you better go to sleep,

With hope of a peaceful tomorrow,

Instead of eyes tearing poisonous real thoughts.

Fear is good to our humanity,

Fills our lives with illusions that grant us survival.

Corrupted, maybe I should be put off!

My thoughts collide too often,

Monster of my mind changes form

When its special moon rises

Even though it is only a glowing rock.

Mirrors shatter

when I stand to look upon my reflection

to millions of small pieces

and I bathe in them

as they drown in my own blood

the satisfying pain!

At least I can feel!

The zombies of my dreams

The headless corpses that should be dust

Yet, I can kill them all… without fear!

Something is wrong with that spaceship!

And it is too far from home! Roaming in the open empty space!

Crew is fucked up, nervousless,

just drinking their life away

until there are no more basic human needs abroad.

They see the planets pass by,

things they know they should see,

and care not about.

An alien is what their eyes request!

Or anything else not comprehended by human grasp!

And a good partner to share the lies with would be great!

(The taste of gum in my mouth has worn off!)  

Chicken without feathers is not ugly,

It’s just not what my eyes are accustomed to see!

(and it might be funny sometimes!)

Wise laugh at everything to break the irony of life!

(Wise? What in the name of the mother of shapes?!)

Lines die when there is no common language.

(religious people went to sleep, about time!)

Well, I have to work tomorrow, so must sleep,

Then do the things I don’t want to do,

Why? Because there is nothing else for now,

Because I’m afraid to try differently,
Because I don't care enough.

(I should really throw this gum!)

(Alma Mater!)

Jesus say goodbye to everyone now,

Live without me for a while,

Save your own selves alone, you bastards!

Until then let me drink my life away!

(روحو تبعبصو)

Mmm… Taste of BLOOD!

Meaningless Blessed Suicide

This is my battle

My own inner battle

Where I know I cannot survive

But firmly I stand with weapon high

Fire in my eyes

No mercy

No tears

No fear

Sound of thunder of my sword and shield

Why do we go through those battles?

I cannot answer

And I will not

This is my battle

Where I will die

But I will fight it all through

Their arrows shower the skies with flames

Replacing the stars

I gaze at this mesmerizing view

Can there be anything more beautiful than this?

They come down at me

Here I will die

When my hand loses strength

When my eyes will roll

When this meaningless human fight fades away

But look into my eyes

If you see them in the battlefield

Know … that you’re dead

Lost Dragon

Brushing the walls

Following the scents

Why is it that books lie

Their promises of other lands

are onion tears

unreal

My eyes betray me

My ears as well

My mind stays honest

Sharing with me imagination

Let the master of puppets go wild

Let the games begin

Lost faith, lost meaning

Waiting for a feeling

Waiting for a real unreal

The ship escapes its homeland

Searching for something else

Searches until the winds keep blowing

But it feels it no more

Until it sinks

And so,

The dragonrider cannot find his dragon

The mage carries a stick with no magical powers

The righteous knight finds no evil goblins and ogres to battle

Scary rooms find no ghosts to project

Prophets find no gods to guide them

The damned sailor

reaches the end

digging through the layers

but he only finds

fake onion tears

Dog’s Sight

“Tell me what’s wrong,

I know there is something,

tell me what is bothering you?”

How many times have I heard this lately,

even though I reflect life.

“Nothing is wrong, I’m just bored, Fofo.”

I’d tell my mom.

Indeed nothing is wrong,

yet nothing is right as well.

I’m not depressed, I’m not high on life either.

I make fun of everything, everything seems meaningless.

Detached myself from the rest of the world,

looking at it from a closed window,

watching everything move, hearing far sounds,

waiting for curtains to close?

I was a seeker of truth once,

but now I am a searcher for new toys,

bored of it all, bored of the old ones.

Meaningless clouds shadowing my eyes.

Adventuring the world with my backpack,

trying to reach something,

something else.

And humans can never grasp what is beyond their senses.

At least that is what I know.

Only escape is imagination,

or a deadly strike.

Dogs see black and white...

From Their Up to My Down

Come to me, dear snake

Come, hiss in my ear

And infect me with humans’ sins

Bring me an apple as a gift

If its red and desirable

I will bite it, yes, I will swallow it whole

And I will be brought down from their paradise

And go down to my mortal world

And I will not feel bad

Because I lost not myself

I stayed true and honest .

One Invites the Many

I was one

Until I opened my eyes

When they came too

Into my life

All the ones

That made me love them

And hate them

And feel neutral towards them

They are a part of what I am

A part of who I will always be

As long as my mind holds them still

And maybe also after it goes insane

They are weird and some are not

To standards, standards, of course

Some are tall, some are short,

Rich, poor, dark, light,

Boring and a few are fun …

I will die for a part of them

And I will kill a larger part

They are people

They are what they are

I was one

But now are many

Creator Becomes Insane! Oh, Dear

Mind is heavy

What is real and what is not?!

How should I know what should exist?!

Give me some laws and tools to diagnose the diseases!

Tunnels of my mind, holds illusion and realities,

Shadows and experiments!

The voices!

They are strong, yet my mind is stronger

But what shall happen when my mind casts them

And wants to!

How can the creator stop itself

Of its greatest desires?!

What shall the creation do

When its creator

Loses sanity?!

Come my sweet Dragons

Let us ride, and shower the world with dancing flames!

Disgusting goblins of sticky green

Get away, just get away!

Ghosts, haunt me down if you can

I shall be prepared!

And all you other creatures in the dark!

I see you hiding, smiling, waiting!

And they go wild!

Mind is heavy

Thrillingly waiting …

Statue to My Memory?

When I’m gone

Sing to my memory

Tell my story with tears

Build the library of my life

Mention my name in times of joy

Ah, all the things I want to be built in my memorial

The big, great and marvelous statue

With my name and features on it

But then again

What does it matter

I would be

Already Gone  

Night Comes to Life

“Come on, pull harder!”

The other goblins shout to me

As we hold on to our friend

One holding the other, not touching the pages

Afraid to fall back inside

Pulling him out of the book

“Pull, pull, pull!”

And when we’re all out

Ha, what wild things we do

We break, we scream

We infect everything with sticky green

We laugh our hearts out, we jump!

A mess is our talent!

And the light chases us away

With the sound of the awakening

We run and trip and fall

And jump, all of us together

Back to the pages

Back inside;

To our world

Mine Ace Youthful Aphrodite

Bring me my plate of sushi, dear

And let me love you more

No, I’d love you still without it, so much

Just a bit less

Stomach full, time to play

So come learn the rules, dear

And let us see who wins

Well, tired now, my moon is up

Go to sleep, dear

Let your dreams carry you away

Now that dreams stopped deceiving you, and are over

Let us go dance, dear

Dance to the music of our own desires

And after our legs tire

Let us drink, dear

Raise a glass to everything that can be raised a glass to

For us!

And when our heads are heavy with dizziness

Let us talk and open our hearts, dear;

Talk of our philosophies, wishes, memories and ideal dreams

Later, after no words are left to say

And our moon rises again

Let us dream once more, dear

A common dream for me and you

Next day, when the sun shines us back to reality

Let us adventure, dear

And do and go through all that we want

The laughs, the smiles, the cries, the heat of our hearts …

I Choose

You !

You are more than my lover

You are more than my friend

You are more than anything that exists and maybe exists not

You are… and will always be… my one and only

Mine

Ace

Youthful

Aphrodite

Marketplace

The little kid down he went

To see the marketplace

Where different flavors grew

And he saw the different kinds

And learned each object

What it meant

Friend, is he who guides you to the end

With you

sails across the sea, in good weather and bad.

Lover is one that holds you back not at all

But who helps you to your dreams

And he being one of them too.

Time is sensed until you change form

Time is not the same to all, a minute can be his two.

Addiction is there in many flavors he saw

Even the rotten sometimes, addiction is there.

Let the wise think

And the dumb talk

Or let it be the other way around, for human behavior is a weirdo.

The tired goes to sleep, no need to rush,

No need to climb cliffs if your body says no.

There were beliefs; beings, meanings, life and what not

 And there was science and philosophy

Where the light found out about the stars.

And a smile made the day

A fish swam until it was caught

He was smart,

after “smart” was defined and compared to him

And a book we read, a new adventure through we went

And an unmoving chapter makes a story boring

A bark of a cat

A bark of a dog

To see the unseen

To pay for the items

All this happened in the marketplace

Where many different flavors grew

And a little kid wrote this all

For us to read; me and you

Sad Violin’s Comfort

What is it with bad mood

That everyone is so much addicted to it

It is the drugs we cannot stop taking

And when a long time passes without it

We suddenly go mad, and break wildly

Love, loss, loneliness …

Let the wounds bleed,

and all that poisonous blood pour out

You only lose what you feel you lost

You only love what you can hate

You feel lonely when you are not whole with yourself

The moment when you enjoy the pain

The moment of unwanted discoveries

The moment of undesired thinking

When thorns grow in a flowery field

you’ve been working in for long

And it just keeps you back

Wasting your time and ruining the flowers

Or, when you forget a rotten tomato for a long time

Without throwing it away, or taking care of it

And the smell becomes unbearable

Let the poets tell of their depression with words

The singers with songs

And the others in what other way they relate to

And let meanings speak

and feelings play us like stringed puppets

Let the body become immune to it all

And used to this darkness, accepting it

Trying to change its form

and the violin plays a sad song …  

Song of Death

Come bitches, I offer my body as bate

My own blood

Waiting for them in this endless night

Light turned on, waiting for a shadow to appear

And when it comes, I shall help it to its death

I’m sick of its bites, leaving its marks for all to see its triumphs

Awakening the phantoms within

The rage of a peaceful creature

Eyes of the sleepless

Heavy as heavy can ever be

So come, bitches, I offer my own tasty blood!

Come, so I can help you to your eternal sleep

And sing you the song of death  

(Damned mosquitoes) 

My Sweet Sweet Luna

Rise for me Luna

My light of imagination

I don’t know why

I don’t know when

But you became the bringer of fantasy, the bringer of memories

Tell me what creatures you know of

so I’ll make ideas shaped in their metaphoric image

It is true I believe not in them,

but their image is useful

High on fantasy, drunk out of reality

Too realistic in reality

Aware of the difference, and aware of my game

I ware not signs of my religions, or

supernatural beings belonging to my beliefs

for I have none other than those already in existence

Rise for me Luna

And let the howls rise

And the screams alight

And forms change

And the monsters become wild

Rise for me Luna

Light of my precious imagination

Give me a kiss of creativity

And carry me away on your ship of fantasies

I tell you this my dear sweet sweet Luna

If you were a story

You would have been a good story

Magical Ink

What kind of ink does your love use?

What is this ink that can’t get erased?

What kind of trickery, what kind of madness?!

Pages remain full of words stained with this special ink

Scratches hide the written words

But they remain

I just have to remember not to open on previous pages

Where words are lost with ink

Where the stains of unclear ink is all that can be seen

No meaning behind it, just the pains of it all

Laughter, friends, adventures

and all the things that are loved to be enjoyed

They know how to burn some pages

But ink stained the pages

Forgotten ink

And all these good things

Try to burn the stained pages

And the flames are the hope reflected in my eyes

They warm you in cold nights

Promising Dream

The fire in your eyes

those that light my heart

The red promise of your lips

the same promised by my dreams

The touch, the brush, the smell

All those words that want to speak and be set free

Love is maybe forgotten

not believed to be true anymore

but we can bring it back

we can bring it back

We can unite under the same heartbeat

to dream under the dancing stars

to swim in a lonely sea

to let everyday be first day in love

every kiss, first kiss

And hand in hand walk the wonders of the world

Breathing the different scents

Laughing the same laughs, smiling the same smiles

Facing the same dangers, the same pains

But every day will end, with us gazing in the other’s eyes

Uttering those three words that are the only thing that matters

The orange rays, reflected from the blue sea

The trees’ green fading away

The night takes over, and so do our dreams

From your eyes, I cannot take mine off

I smile, brush your chin gently

Then... burn of the lips

And the forest listens with joy

Only one heartbeat

“I love you”

  

Window Speaking

The waves of the sea dancing
to the crowd of yellow flowers along the shore
No wind rushing, a good day for fishing
The window of my home
speaks true and beautiful words
Sky as clear as my thoughts
Sun as warm as my blood
A cat holding its child in its mouth
(the one that was lost yesterday, and I returned back to its home)
Dogs barking, declaring themselves, the masters of their territory
(not to mention my grandmother's rooster shouting, overcoming all other barks)
What a view my home's window has to offer
What a beautiful day outside
But I have to stay inside, homework to do
But like always, I come to ask myself, really, do I?

Dark Sun

Walking through the tunnels of her beauty

I can hate her, but love her more

Her image is horror, the thing I fear the most

Where she steps roses grow, and thorns cut through

She is the sun that knows how to turn my world dark

Words she speaks are the poison my body cannot fight

This death creeper in my mind, is soothing …

The violin plays for me and her, I don’t know who plays

I can’t see who dances near, I see only shades

They can be real, or maybe they are not,

But it matters not at all

The violin plays unheard music

And we dance

Yes, we do, I look her in the eyes

But I see through them

I reach my hand to touch her, but mist fades

I stand alone in this graveyard

Where all that was, is now buried under the soil

Hiding, acting dead, waiting to haunt me down

We humans fear the things that should not exist

They follow me, and I run, sweating !

Night is in control ...

A fading torch in my hand, is all that guides me

But the night is cold, and they being not human, don’t tire

I run and sweat, they will never leave me

It is only time until they catch me …

Until they take me too, where things are buried

And I will join them

And I will rest then, and be free …

Bala Esem

Sho bet5abes 7ake

Play with me a game with no rules

And let the saint be bad and the demon be good

Or let them be who they are, w t5abesesh 7ake

Let the radical people rule the world, and change it

And the rest live the world they shaped

Afkar afkar afkar, wa7ad benjan, 7ata ljonon yseer l7a2e2a

Drunkenness and dreaming are my strongest enemies even though I desire them

They are the only weapons that can break through the shields and walls of my mind

Blacksmith, fire, yes, chains, make the material stronger!

Sanity has left me long time ago, or it left the world and remained with thee

When flowery rivers flow, uttering the lovers name, reflecting thy beauty

Sot lnay, naseem lba7ar, all the things that calm the wild waves

Or is it the rage, and shouts, or is it both

Hat efham lnas

Sometimes people just cannot differ between subjective and objective

And start uttering worthless words decorated with shit

(this idea is also subjective)

And let us speak of divinity and plans, aha, adaseyet l7aya

Really?! I mean look around you, watch the world and learn, again, really?!

Nas 3al2ane bel made mesh 3arfe tetla3 meno

The way I see it, a long unmoving chapter makes a stupid book

(Subjective again, judge me not), ra7 ajareb ade ba2dar a7kom 3alek ha2al eshe

Madamo kol eshe ente mara2to howe ele 3emlak esh ente,

w2ay eshe tane kan be3melak bane2adam tane

Life is full of options, sometime you have a choice;

Choosing between living or dying while living (depression)

Remember the armory, the strength of the mental

And a howl made my day

They call me in the night, you see

I follow them in my dreams

But the thing about dreams if they come true

They would be dreams no more

Ro7 efham

And the thorns grow sometimes in the flowery fields

And I lose myself, and I hate this season

But are the thorns not part of the field as well?

I try to cut them, but I can’t, because it is not truly so

You see you can hide things, but not kill them

Nothing actually dies, things just change form

Oltelak roo7 efham,

bas yalla mesh mohem hat nerfa3 kas la kol eshe momken yenrafa3lo kas

The shadows grant me peace

And sometimes it is the light

And there’s a lot in between

But darkness knows how to rule me

And shadows of reality, Oo, leshya2 ele bte3mele eyaha

Sometimes it is easier to merge within the stream

Than go against it

Hay lama bedkash shwayet mo3’amara lazeze wbetkon ta3ban

Mesh 3’alat , mesh 3’alat, 7asab esh bedak

Well, the objective world is built of one truth

Alongside the human subjective world which is build of many lies put together

So let the world live its lie, and let me live mine

Let time name me, and let the wind carry me

And my legs aid me in getting carried faster or slower

Fa hat efham, ana bala esem ya 3ame

Daye3 be hada l3alam lmota3’ayer, mesh 3aref sho bede

And… ar, a Change of Heart … 

Hide and Seek

Flowery ashes decorating her dress

The unwanted satisfying pain

I want to run, but I cannot stop watching

Heart took control

The shouts are not enough, any other beauty is dead

Her flowery dress of thorns is feeding my vision

And  the shadows are  comforting comparing to her touch

If I had the strength I would have told it all

I would have told her

How her beauty had outcast all others’

How her smile made the room spin with joy

How I only saw her in an empty world

How her touch made me shiver with excitement 

How her voice was building a meaning which took over my life

A dream kills me, again and again

You can’t forget, you can only try to hide it

Overcome with satisfying unwanted feelings

This water is dust in my mouth

A promise that will not come true

What can I do, how can you run
from something that exists only in your mind

I am the only one who can help myself

I am the only one who understands me

Please, just help me find a good hiding place

A  good hiding place, I cannot seek again …

Young Night

Don’t go to sleep this night, sweet one

There are feelings that want to speak

Shores of flowery sea

carrying my words of true and honest meanings.

When I want to think of all the idol things

Only one face appears,

only two eyes that match yours perfectly.

So don’t go to sleep, sweet one

The night is still young

Let it bring us together, under the same heartbeat

Let it compose a masterpiece

Making the crowd’s skin shiver with excitement.

Stay awake, sweet one

The night is still young

But if you are truly sleepy

You can lay your head on my chest

For it is already preserved

 only for you

The Table In Front of Me

I try to be as realistic as much I can

Yet, then find escape in imagination

I sit down, my readings in front of me

A paper with my writings and some drawing

A bottle of wine which I took from work

The red liquid slips, burning, down my throat

Clearing my mind, calming the waves

And a song I listen to

Swallowing me deeper in the mood that I already drowned in

Fragments of thoughts jump from a fortress to another

I open my mouth and place the traditional food in my mouth;

Food my grandmother made, back home

Memories, wishes and analysis, cannot leave, their freedom exceeds the limits

I am realistic, and I know that I sit in front of the table

And the rest of my imagination is just fantasy

Red burning flame slips inside

I write and draw

Time moves … I take another sip

Sun Goes to Sleep

The sun goes to sleep

And my dreams start to breathe

Voices in my head, become heard by mine ears

Shades of them figures of fantasy become solid shapes

And songs erupt, real songs surrounded by the shadows

And carried with the crew to wishes… to far lands

And the darkness speaks words of truth, words I want to hear

And I sleep soundly

My dreams take the shape of the voices

I heard before I went to bed, in the shadows

They promise, they are words I want to hear

They give me life

My mind tries not to wake

Enemy? Friend?

And so the wars went on,
lands, money, thoughts, lies ...

And so it came to be
that the two nations, following commands, fought fiercely ...

And so it came to be that the clouds
didn't hide the light of the sun this time ...

and a soldier stood above
a dying enemy
their eyes met for the first time
and the living soldier saw in the other's dying eyes
someone who could have been his friend
the dying one smiled in acknowledgement
as his last heartbeats faded away, with the light in his eyes ...

And so, the clouds did not hide the light of the sun this time ...
And the living soldier dropped his weapon
He did not expect to lose
a friend

Grow Up?

People follow stars
Which I cannot see

They listen to voices of higher powers

Which I cannot seem to hear

They connote light and shade with good and evil

When I don’t even understand what they are talking about

They believe in meanings

Which I cannot base on truths

They offer games with rules

Which I don’t get attached with

They, they are people

I’m not proud of being different

I would like to throw the ball and have it thrown back

But how could I?

When, When I throw a ball and all I get back is a snarl and a serious face

“grow up” they say, as I look at the ball rolling on the ground away from me

I’ll try, I guess, I almost forgot

Horse Sitting on Thy Chest at Night

“Arrrrrrr”

The full moon sheds its light

Reflecting my changing shadow

I cannot fight it !!

Poisonous blood burning inside my veins !!

Creatures run from the terror they know is coming

My head - think – properly – IIII – caannn nnnot

Pains !!! Burning !!! “Arrrrrrrrrrr”

Deeeeeead - human - fight eeiit - cannnnn ot !!

“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

A little kiddow shivering beneath his bed’s sheets, hiding

Shivering so hard, poor him

He hears, howls !!

He knows stories

And he hears them howls !! 

Mine Unborn Sweet Child

Oo, my unborn sweet child

Should I bring you to this harsh world of mine people?

Where you will face doubts, disillusions and corruption?

Oo, my unborn sweet child, so innocent you are

I know beauties you are missing,

but are you not part of this beauty now?

Oo, my unborn sweet child

You will face feelings, nightmares and the so called life

You shall face laws and rules, and what they call conscious

You shall be taught that there is right and wrong, that this is the truth

You shall be wrapped by your people

protected by their never ending whispers in your poor innocent head

This is my world my sweet unborn child

This is my world

Where they search for escapes, meanings and different worlds

But imagination is no more there my child, no more there

You see they say we are above nature, our equal, that’s what they do claim

Others claim of higher powers, and commandments which we should follow

And they follow rules, and tell you it is this way, and only this

And you have to believe it, if you don't want to be crushed by the herd

Materials, my child, is all they care about, outfits and outer beauty

And they forgot of the inside and the beauty within

Sweet child of mine, don’t worry though

You shall be born within a lullaby which I will sing you

You shall smell the grass, climb the tree and sail the sea

You shall bathe in the sun and run, wild and free

And I will not shout at you to come back to me, and obey my laws

Oh, no, I shall tell you, run boy, run free

And you shall see mine beautiful world and build yours

You shall feel the change,

and smell the scents carried with the winds from far lands

We shall play, and roll, laugh, and invent, learn, and adventure

And a kiss on the forehead I shall give you

before you sleep after the story ends

Mine sweet unborn child

I see the beauty in your eyes

I see the truth of it all

I see a world with no lies

And a lullaby I shall sing

Which I wrote specially for you

You are mine sweet innocent child

This world I’ll prepare for you   

سليم يا سليم

سليم, جيب المنشارة والخشب, بدنا نبني سفيني

سليم, جيب المنشارة والخشب, بدنا نبني بيت عالشجرة

سليم, جيب العود والكاس, بدنا نبني غنّاي

سليم, جيب أفكارك وإبداعك, بدنا نبني قصّة

سليم, جيب الريش والدبق, بدنا نبني جنحات

سليم, جيب الدخّان والكحول, بدنا نبني ممنوعات

سليم يا سليم, إنّك مش موجود وبحكي معك

هل بؤول إنّي مجنون ولا سليم؟

يا سليم, بطّلت أفرّق بين التنين, يا سليم

Chains of Slavery

Disgust and anger…

Her corruption brought my fall

Her poison, setting my desires on flames

Words turn to glue in my mouth

When trying to focus, drums beat

Her beauty is deadly, sharper than knives

Her lines are rocks tied to my legs in this deep dark ocean

Meanings fade in her ideal image and illusion 

I build this fantasy, an unreal idea of her

And aware of it I am, but helpless, I cannot stop its flow

I want to shout, I want to run faster than her shadow

I want to return to nature and sanity

To free my mind from human’s grasp

Just return to the sea, forests and foolishness

To my books, writings and peaceful thoughts

But weather is wild

Disappointed from a perfect dream

I try to run from her shadow

Yet how could I? When it has become my own

The Lady in Dark

When they mentioned her name it was in disgust

Descriptions of ugliness was all she got

She was every little thing they desired not

flying  their darkness as their crow of dread

She was a different kind, no ladylike dresses she wore

No makeup, no sprays, she was clean of that, untouched

She meant no harm, but she was seen as thorns

As she walked the streets it got empty, but full with eyes

Even though unwanted, eyes like to follow, groans like to speak

So to say she walked alone, it would be wrong

Always she was followed, always her name was mentioned in disgust

The Lady in Dark

Storms passed by, many moons came and went

Thoughts bleeding, still their crow of dread

Until finally she lay on the dying’s bed

Welcoming, she happily joined the dead

Never alone she was

The Lady in Dark

Untouched

Uninfected

Their crow of dread

The Dead Trying To Say Something

Wars, battles, fights and those many ways of conflict

It’s a human thing

Not because peace is hard to get

Because interest is the blood flowing in our veins

because we want more

because we are not satisfied with less

because we want to eat the bigger part

because we don’t want to be vegetarians

when vegetables have enough vitamins for our body’s survival

Viciousness is a human thing, it is in our nature

We like to fight the battles

We like to shed the blood

We like to fight the leaders’ conflict

when the soldiers we battle are people who could have raised a glass with us in different situations

Too bad we sell no tickets to free ourselves from all this society thing

Too bad we build lies to justify our barbarism

Too bad the world is not big enough for us all to live peacefully together   

I look upon a sea of graves

Of people who once lived

I see no difference between them, all equal

It’s too bad in life we are separated

Only to realize that in death

There is no right and wrong

No rich and poor

No divinity and levels

There is only dead

Plain and simple

Memories Telling Them Tales

I like memories

All kinds of them

I like to remember and rebuild the emotions

Oh, I remember how we got drunk on the beach

Dancing around the fire,

seeing the stars through the empty bottles

to be woken up in the morning by the police

Ha, I remember when we used to play card games

Oh, how we cheated and fought

But we played and we never forgot to have the fun and the laughs

I remember how we hiked one of the highest mountains of the world

Ah, the beautiful nature, that mountain with white beard

As thick as mine, but his moma never told him to shave, that I’m sure of

I remember the many fishing days
Yes, when no storm could have stopped me
When I saw my parents come and shout at me to get out of the sea
When waves seven feet high marched on me and knocked me down
carrying me all over the hard rocks

I remember all the different houses and countries I lived in

Ooo, many different friends I had from all around the world

Many different adventures been with them as well

Yes, yes, how beautiful it is to see the world

I remember all the books that I read

Many lives I lived

Many lives I’ve written as well

I remember all the first kisses

I remember our hearts burning with flame

And I remember them being broken

Ah, so many things I remember

If I’d tell you all that we’ve been through it will never end

Every moment I die and live again, each time with a different dream

Each time adding more lives to the previous one

I like to sit on a cliff and watch the sun sink under the sea

While throwing its orange rays on the water’s surface

I smile and reminisce, and relive my life

Of course, just for a moment I do that

I mean I will not get stuck in the past

Some future is awaiting me

I stand up and rush to it

To live more lives… to do what I do best

Compass in a Northless World

I wake up

I wash my face, I look in the mirror

My reflection is what I see

It’s been a long time since I had a dream

A long time since I had a reason or a purpose in life

No cause, no need

And the thing is, I know that most probably

I will never tread on this previous land again

I mean how could I?

Oh, no, I cannot

Just sailing the endless sea, until my ship sinks

Not that I have a problem with that

Not that I see anything better

Not that it matters to me, not at all

Ships pass by, holding them sailors having specific locations

and following maps

“Captain, we’ve spotted land” brotherly sailor notifies me

I put the glass on my eye, indeed it is land, people walking on seashore

“Shall we put anchor here?”

I look at him, one of those who I’ll smile and die for…

I smile at him

It doesn’t matter, I follow no compass

It really doesn’t matter

In the mirror

I see my reflection clearly

Whatever

You are my fishing gear

You are my favorite book

You are my fussil collection

You are my adventure

You are my crazy person

Can you see how much you mean to me?

Not an angel, oh no, for angels mean nothing

Not going to talk about pearls and diamonds either 

For they are worthless as well

You are a mountain which my dream is to climb

You are as beautiful as a sun sinking in the sea

Or a ship soaring towards the far far horizon

Oh, I want to show you all the messed up thoughts that I have

I want to show you this world where even the people’s wrong is perfect

No need for money or fancy cars

Let’s just lie on seashore, no need to dream

Let’s just accept everything as it is

Let’s have fun, no matter if society disapproves,

Who cares if they talk about our inappropriate behavior all day and night long

Let’s write our own tales without planning beforehand

Let’s learn when we want to learn, and fool around when we feel like it

No divine, no meanings, no authorities, no ideals, leave all this bullshit behind

Let’s follow a fish under the sea, let’s laugh at the crows fighting intelligently on food

Let’s feed the cat which is only friendly to get fat and a pat

Let’s throw some grass on one another

Or let’s just sit and do nothing!

I want nothing from this life, don’t ask for a thing

Just living, just passing by

So come drink with me a glass if you want

Then get drunk and open your heart

“Don’t worry mate, cheer up, we’re all gonna die at the end”

That’s what I’m probably going to tell you

Alright, I don’t feel like writing more, so I’m leaving some words unsaid

But who cares, really, who does?!

But if you want, join me tomorrow, I’m going to drink  

Center of the World

When you trip, do you look around you?

Scared to have been seen in this awkward situation?

Or, when you go out, do you dress nicely, and if you have long hair

then work on it a bit in front of the mirror?

When you do anything, just absolutely anything,

do you always feel that eyes are always upon you?

As though everyone cares what you are going to do

As though you are always followed

Do you feel

That you are the center of the world?!!

Eyes, eyes, everywhere!

Behind you, watch out!

The other way around, more eyes!

Stop, stop, stop watching!

Stop following!

Losing myself!

Ahh...

  

The wind blows, a fresh breeze it brings

Seas reflecting sun’s beautiful warm light

Green, that green grass, nesting the colorful flowers

Do you see any of these changing their looks or behaving differently

when you pass by?

And you know what’s the funniest thing about it all?

People just don’t care about all that, they are not watching you

They are on their watch, trying to catch the people following them.

I mean after all, my life’s existence is all about following your every step

If not that, then what?

There is this thing about us humans,

We think we are better

We think we are different

We think nature was born for us

and not the other way around

Last time I checked I found no center for this world

Yet, last time I checked

I saw too many false centers of the world

I guess that’s why the world is confused…

Not knowing to which way to spin

Bloody Mary

It is in a small circle that we always sit, in a way that everyone sees all in this big white room. Oh, some have their glasses, others their unique looks and some are indescribable… Ah, and here it comes, “Okay, you have ten minutes. Write one page of paper, telling us what’s on your mind right now” is what the teacher says.

Ooo, in the names of all the Bloody Maries, what should I write now? I mean I have nothing on my mind, clean empty it is, only this meaningless song...

I scan the attending; each individual is drowned in his own stories and thoughts, shaping them into words which I should probably analyze and understand, to build as much as I could in the image that they painted in their mind. It is actually funny to see how seriously everyone is taking this.

What do they expect me to write? Maybe, of ships, storms and adventures, of dragons, wars and fantasies, or is it of meanings, life and irony? I mean, I really can’t… this meaningless song in my mind has been peacefully settling there for a long time!

“Okay, people, time to hear what you got to say.” She cheerfully announces.

Ooo, Bloody Mary!

“Razi, why don’t you go first?”

Eyes on me, no escape, I was sentenced!

I read them this. 

Our Precious World

Okay, I’ll reveal my secret

Follow me into the cave where I’ve carved

how it all began …

You see … it is small ideas

They start big things!

Oh, yes they do!
A little seed grows into a big oak tree, almost impossible to rip
 

Your eyes should be clean before you look in order to see

Yes, yes, just forget what you’ve been taught, that’s all unwanted dirt

Ah, much better, you’re on the right path

Let your dreams go wild, creativity, yes, yes

Pour some more chemicals into the pot

Let’s see what you get...

You see big things begin from small ideas

Small ideas you get from mistakes

Mistakes you understand through clean eyes

Clean eyes are hard to get, but you get them after doubt

Doubt you gain when you’re willing to face your fear

and think differently

That’s what’s carved on the walls of the cave

Of a once forgotten beginning

Not gods, and spirits

Oh, but how much fun it is to create them

You see we find escape through imagination

Through creating, worlds, meanings and all that we can create

We try to cover up this little truth, which is carved in our mind

“Life Has No Meaning”

Oh, how much we try to cover it, mostly with the "joys" of life

It’s a hideous grave we don’t want to look at

But it is there in the shadows, waiting for us

And when our mind is weak and fragile

The doubts kick with great force

You see, in this world there is no mercy

You adapt or get eliminated

This is our world, our perfect world

Where the simple truth is hidden behind a shield of complicated lies

Where there is no right and wrong

Where energy changes

Where we never die, or never live

Where the breeze of our mind carries us as it wishes

This is our world, our perfect precious world

Where we

Adapt or get Eliminated  

Whore House

Life is a bitch,

yet bitches are easy to deal with

People say something, then they change their mind

and say something else

They always talk, talk, talk

Then get sad, then talk again, complain

Then get depressed and then suddenly, oh, they’re happy again!

Such an easy life, yet so easy to complicate

Things… we always want, to fulfill those inner desires

Filling a magical hole that can never be fully filled

Those things that burn inside of us, calling to us

“Get me, get me! Or I’ll make you feel bad! That I assure you!”

I try, I mean, I do see things a bit differently …

I think I can proudly announce that

I reached the point where I almost care about nothing

When I accept everything as it is,

but still I try to get the best out of the things that I do,

preferring the truthful smiles, and heartily laughs  

You want love? I can get you love in a dreamy way

You want adventures? We can travel the seven worlds, the thirteen seas and beyond

You want imagination? We’ll get wild as a monkey looking for the immortal dancing banana

Want to drink a glass of ale? Ahh, let’s drink six

The person that you are is gonna die… now or in ten, thirty or sixty years

So, what life do you choose to yourself?!

Or, are you just going to follow the herd blindly and desperately?

I mean, they all do it …

But as for me, thank you, I’ll pass this time

You see… life is a bitch,

treat her nicely and she might give you more than one fuck

Life is a bitch,

yet bitches are easy to deal with

Life is a bitch,

and I’m doomed to get on this meaningless ride

Life is a bitch,

and bitches are made to satisfy your desires

Life is a bitch,

and I’m sorry yet happy to say that

that particular bitch won me

 and I’m fucking addicted to her 

Deadly Ghost

Cold, I await her

But only her ghost comes …

Always, I reach my hand to touch her

But thin air I brush

Her smiling illusion keeps the room cold

Unreal sun can never heat

Window open, wind comes in

Bringing her ghost, always …

Problem is

Ghosts can walk through solid walls,

locked doors and closed windows

What can I do but stay cold

Unreal sun can never heat

Her ghost is all I know

My heart belongs to it now

Smiling beautiful illusion

keeps the room cold

Unreal sun can never heat

The cold grants me a kiss …

My Faceless Love

So I wake to drown in your eyes

By my side you lie

You smile, you breathe, you touch…

When promises we do not have to make

Because our hearts already swore

Our hearts already did that on their own

It is solid you that I’ll only see

Rest, illusions coming and going

But you, I’ll always see

To wake on the seashore

with the brush of the waves

To wake on the hill

with a kiss from the stars

To wake on an island where there is only you and me

When the only sentence that our ears need hear is

I love you

Our bodies bond when the music starts

We dance all night long in this endless night

You lay your head on my chest

I hold you tightly, safely, warmly …

Then the band stops for a moment

for us to gaze in one’s eyes and have a kiss…

No past exists, only a present and a future

Dreams as one, life united

Every day is first day in love

I wake up to behold her in my arms

I smile sadly, she is not there

My faceless love